In the case of this particular incident and situation, I would encourage you to ask questions about feedback for coaches and teams to the principal or the athletic director. Note I stated principal first because they are ultimately responsible for anything that takes place within the school and they are the CEO if you will of that particular school and supervise the AD. There is an assumption in this response that the AD could potentially have allegiance with the Football coach (as a former teacher/coach the AD was the previous head football coach; the AD prior to that one was an assistant football coach and AD – so there was no such thing as neutrality among the different sports it was all about football which was perfect!)which is why you would approach the principal about your concern.

Another avenue is to look up your state’s high school association information. There are usually protocol’s or expectations for coaches’ behavior within the State High School Association. All coaches (head and assistants) have to be accredited or certified to coach thus something to checkout. Along with this look up your school’s code of conduct policy for teachers or employee’s. There is usually some statement that teachers, employee’s in a school district should conduct themselves as professionals…
You have some recoures, the thing you need to realize is that speaking to someone about your concern will be for the betterment of the players. There are too many incidents where players sport experiences are ruined by insensitive, ignorant coaches many of whom are trying to live their sport experiences through players they coach. This is a dangerous situation with these coaches in leadership and not for the good of your child, I would use the approaches above to talk with your principal or AD about your concerns. If you have taken the time to write your concerns in this blog, there might be two or three others who feel the same thing, but don’t have the courage to say anything to anyone.

Your story is a classic case of potential nothing more than glorified Child abuse. I currently teach a college course on youth sports and behaviors like this occur all the time in youth sports and the perpetrators do not have any accountability for their behavior. The question for you and other parents to consider — if your child were at home, would you talk to your child the way the coach talked to him or her to get them to do something correctly or “motivate him or her to work harder”? If your answer is no then you might want to make an appointment to talk to someone.
Peace I hope this helped.

This is a very sensitive and difficult area. I think there is a culture of coaching that may condone long-held beliefs about how coaches behave. Many parents who have witnessed inappropriate language or behavior in coaches have the exact fear of reprisal that you referenced.

What is the answer? I don’t know. My own children are all adults now and all played sports through high school. They told me that’s just the way it is and we can’t change it.

When kids are younger, it’s ok to talk to the coach directly but once they are on an interscholastic team in middle or high school, you do risk offending the coach as well as your child if you take on the coach directly.

Who out there has an answer?!