The Ideal Youth Sports Coach
By ktcosmos on Mar 11, 2006 in Other Sports
Parents want the best for their children: the best schools, the best teachers, even the best athletic coaches. Unfortunately, the structure of many youth sports leagues, prevents parents from selecting their child’s coach. Let’s begin with a discussion of what makes a poor, average, good and excellent coach.
First, parents often forget these are not paid positions. These are volunteer men and women who are motivated for different reasons to help coach children. Just like any other endeavor, certain people will excel at coaching while others are satisfied to just bring the equipment, throw out the balls, and submit a line-up.
Suppose you are dissatisfied with your child’s experience in a particular sport. You must define your source of displeasure. First ask yourself if this is something your child wanted to do. I’ve coached children using the same techniques, the same drills that greatly improve one child’s performance and appreciation of the game, while doing nothing for another player. If the child simply does not enjoy the game but is playing because mom and dad wanted them out of the house, look no further for cause.
Defining a good coach will vary from parent to parent. Some prefer an individual who never raises his voice to the kids and simply lets them play the game without much interference and few practices. Others want a taskmaster who absolutely demands and settles for nothing less than each child’s best effort. At least 3-4 days per week are spent either in games and/or in practice. I am convinced that most parents are happy with a mixture of the two extremes: a coach who takes his job seriously, teaching kids skills to the best of his ability without yelling at children and holding a reasonable number of practices, understanding that many families have multiple responsibilities and commitments during any sports season.
Based upon my experience and professional judgment, most coaches are neither extreme, but nor are they the combination of the best traits from both extremes. Most coaches are average to poor. I believe the only time you really need to be that concerned over the quality of your child’s coach and demand change is when:
- Your child’s safety is in question
- Your child’s coach has a habit of yelling at children for their lack of skill regardless of the coach’s other good qualities
Your child’s coach should do the following:
- Hold a pre-season meeting with parents and kids to discuss the upcoming season and distribute practice and game schedules. This attention to detail will give you immediate feedback as to the quality of coaching your child will receive.
- Communicate on a regular basis throughout the season by a team newsletter. Again, it’s the issue of the coach’s dedication to keep parents informed on the team’s progress, new requirements, or a schedule change. A good or excellent coach does not simply rely on verbal announcements at games or practices.
- Sincerely listen to all parental concerns, suggestions and comments. Keep in mind that a coach must evaluate each suggestion as to how it affects the entire team and not just one player. He must evaluate the suggestion to make sure it does not undermine his responsibility as the head coach.
- Practices should be organized so all children are involved in drills or in lines to immediately take part in drills. (This absolutely requires more than one coach, often as many as three to four assistants).
- Your child should look forward to playing (it’s too much to ask kids to look forward to practices) and being on this coach’s team.
- Talk to parents whose children are misbehaving or experiencing problems of some type. A good coach won’t just “wish” the problem away.
- Never berate or embarrass a child in front of teammates. There are times when a firm word of discipline or direction is needed but this should be done away from others.
- (this could be the toughest trait) Honestly evaluates all players and assigns players’ different roles. Some kids will be starters because of a combination of things (attendance, attitude, ability) while others will split playing time and assume roles in positions to best help the team.
Do not overlook a phone call or visit with your child’s coach to openly and honestly discuss your concerns. Most coaches will prefer this method to hearing your displeasure from other players or parents.
by John Nixon John has over with 21 years of experience in the municipal recreation field. He coached youth baseball and basketball for many years and is the father of two sons.
Ive watched and struggled with the verbal behavior of coaches on a high school football team. The attitudes to those who have previous relationships with coaches from youth football vs those that are new and dont have exsisting relationships with them or the family. What hurts me most is that as a parent and a manager I understand the important of power of presence and the need to use good taste when expressing oneself. The lack of professionalism and sometimes just ignorance to what comes out of their mouth to put down a player in front of their teammates is totally unexcepatable. I dont understand why coaches wether they are volunteers or get paid should not be held to leadership skills of some type of class and accoutabilty. Wether a team is winning or not this should not be tolerated. Wether its to just a few or many players it takes away from the true role of a leader. It is on honor for someone to have that position to be able to influence and play such a vital role in childrens lifes. How can I bring this to the attention of the coaching team/school without my children and or others being attacked from the feedback as I believe the character of these few coaches would do that in fact. Thank you for your advice
carolanne | Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
Hi there,
This is a very sensitive and difficult area. I think there is a culture of coaching that may condone long-held beliefs about how coaches behave. Many parents who have witnessed inappropriate language or behavior in coaches have the exact fear of reprisal that you referenced.
What is the answer? I don’t know. My own children are all adults now and all played sports through high school. They told me that’s just the way it is and we can’t change it.
When kids are younger, it’s ok to talk to the coach directly but once they are on an interscholastic team in middle or high school, you do risk offending the coach as well as your child if you take on the coach directly.
Who out there has an answer?!
ktcosmos | Nov 8, 2008 | Reply
I was a high school coach and I am a little different when it comes to parent, player, and coach issues. I personally welcome parent issues relative to feedback 24 hours after they first have a problem. It gives you a chance to reflect and really think through the situation and calm down. If a parent comes to me with a concern, I usually listen, restate the concern and then deal with the situation. Some coaches are the “Boss” and feel that the player should come to them. This doesn’t work because of the intimidation factor and the repercussions that could occur from being “too soft.”
In the case of this particular incident and situation, I would encourage you to ask questions about feedback for coaches and teams to the principal or the athletic director. Note I stated principal first because they are ultimately responsible for anything that takes place within the school and they are the CEO if you will of that particular school and supervise the AD. There is an assumption in this response that the AD could potentially have allegiance with the Football coach (as a former teacher/coach the AD was the previous head football coach; the AD prior to that one was an assistant football coach and AD – so there was no such thing as neutrality among the different sports it was all about football which was perfect!)which is why you would approach the principal about your concern.
Another avenue is to look up your state’s high school association information. There are usually protocol’s or expectations for coaches’ behavior within the State High School Association. All coaches (head and assistants) have to be accredited or certified to coach thus something to checkout. Along with this look up your school’s code of conduct policy for teachers or employee’s. There is usually some statement that teachers, employee’s in a school district should conduct themselves as professionals…
You have some recoures, the thing you need to realize is that speaking to someone about your concern will be for the betterment of the players. There are too many incidents where players sport experiences are ruined by insensitive, ignorant coaches many of whom are trying to live their sport experiences through players they coach. This is a dangerous situation with these coaches in leadership and not for the good of your child, I would use the approaches above to talk with your principal or AD about your concerns. If you have taken the time to write your concerns in this blog, there might be two or three others who feel the same thing, but don’t have the courage to say anything to anyone.
Your story is a classic case of potential nothing more than glorified Child abuse. I currently teach a college course on youth sports and behaviors like this occur all the time in youth sports and the perpetrators do not have any accountability for their behavior. The question for you and other parents to consider — if your child were at home, would you talk to your child the way the coach talked to him or her to get them to do something correctly or “motivate him or her to work harder”? If your answer is no then you might want to make an appointment to talk to someone.
Peace I hope this helped.
Michael | Dec 1, 2008 | Reply